Mike's Recap About Us

Mike recently reconnected with a friend and sent this out to him. I thought it was funny and is a good recap for those of you wondering what we've been up to the past few years:

An excerpt from the Autobiographical History of Mike: The Opinion of the Federation of Awesome—membership count ONE!

First there was nothing…and then there was Michael!

And Michael met a girl named Melanie at a bachelor party. (Yet the history of their meeting is a controversial debate among scholars as some do not believe this to be a factual account of how they met.)

And Michael and Melanie thus wed and knew each other.

And behold, Michael and Melanie moved to Dallas whereas both worked for Wells Fargo and dwelt in a tent.

Yea, things were pleasant for the duration of three years in the land of Frisco which lies northward of Dallas.

And behold, Michael fell upon days of boredom and decided to return to school for the duration of two years for his MBA.

Thus, Michael and Melanie packed up their tent and moved to College Station to attend Texas A&M and endureth many Aggie jokes and hardships of a small college town.

But behold, Michael had a pleasant experience at Texas A&M and befriended many BYU alumni in his class. Yea, Michael fell to the earth in a stupor of thought upon discovering that nearly 15% of students in his program were BYU alumni.

And during the final year of school Michael knew Melanie and Melanie begat Xena Skywalker Ralston. But behold Melanie smote Michael in the head and stole the birth certificate to change the name to Zoe Michelle Ralston. Yea, Michael forgave Melanie.

And after a period of 1 month after Zoe was born, Michael and Melanie moved to the land of Charlotte, NC whereas Michael worked for the company known as Bank of America. And Michael was pleased with his work and saw that it was good. But because Michael was in a 2 year rotation program, he took his family out of the land of Charlotte after a year and traveled back to the land of Dallas, Texas where he would work to complete his next rotation.

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Now that I have you in a good mood here's the bad news. Our camera is broken and we won't have pictures of Zoe for a while.