I'm scared that Zoe will have ANY of the side effects.
I don't like that I don't understand EVERYTHING about the medicine from beginning to end. I have to trust people that I don't know very well. It does help that I have Mike's brother, Jim, to help with the medical jargon. And he really knows and understands a lot of the information (kind of surprising because he's a dermatologist, not an endocrinologist...but this is the guy who diagnosed Mike's sister, Krista's, brain tumor over the phone and seems to know everything about anything medical...I think he's a genius) so it makes me feel a little bit better.
I'm scared of the unknown of knowing whether or not Zoe really needs this medicine--and it's all a waste of time, money, effort, emotions, etc. (where's a crystal ball when you need one)
I don't like that I don't understand EVERYTHING about the medicine from beginning to end. I have to trust people that I don't know very well. It does help that I have Mike's brother, Jim, to help with the medical jargon. And he really knows and understands a lot of the information (kind of surprising because he's a dermatologist, not an endocrinologist...but this is the guy who diagnosed Mike's sister, Krista's, brain tumor over the phone and seems to know everything about anything medical...I think he's a genius) so it makes me feel a little bit better.
I'm scared of the unknown of knowing whether or not Zoe really needs this medicine--and it's all a waste of time, money, effort, emotions, etc. (where's a crystal ball when you need one)
What if Zoe doesn't take well to the Norditropin and we have to switch to a different company.
I'm going to be sad when my little Zoe isn't so little any more. I love that she is so petite. But that's selfish because she needs to be able to function well in society.
What if kids make fun of Zoe because she has to have a shot at sleepovers or Girls Camp.
What if nobody makes fun of Zoe but she's embarrassed anyways because there is something 'different' that she has to do.
What if the needle hurts Zoe?
What if the medicine hurts Zoe, what if she gets a new side effect that has never happened to anybody else?
What if I see a commercial on TV one night that says something like, "If you or a loved one used Somatropin (the name of the actual medicine) then you are entitled to payment. Call Jim Adler, the Texas Hammer".
What if when Zoe grows up she hates me for making this decision to give her the medicine.
I'm scared that night times will be horrible now where Mike is having to hold Zoe down, she is screaming, and I am giving her the shot. And we all dread it. Every night.
What if I'm an emotional eater and I gain a lot of weight through this ordeal.
I'm going to be sad when my little Zoe isn't so little any more. I love that she is so petite. But that's selfish because she needs to be able to function well in society.
What if kids make fun of Zoe because she has to have a shot at sleepovers or Girls Camp.What if nobody makes fun of Zoe but she's embarrassed anyways because there is something 'different' that she has to do.
What if the needle hurts Zoe?
What if the medicine hurts Zoe, what if she gets a new side effect that has never happened to anybody else?
What if I see a commercial on TV one night that says something like, "If you or a loved one used Somatropin (the name of the actual medicine) then you are entitled to payment. Call Jim Adler, the Texas Hammer".
What if when Zoe grows up she hates me for making this decision to give her the medicine.
I'm scared that night times will be horrible now where Mike is having to hold Zoe down, she is screaming, and I am giving her the shot. And we all dread it. Every night.
What if I'm an emotional eater and I gain a lot of weight through this ordeal.
What if Zoe gets tired of it all one day and injects me with her needle while I'm sleeping?
------------------------------------------------------------------
Mike's concerns:
That Melanie is going to snap and I will have to talk her down from a clock tower.
------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Mike -- flowers, or a foot massage, or Swiss Cake Rolls will help delay the 'snap'.
------------------------------------------------------------------
Mike's concerns:
That Melanie is going to snap and I will have to talk her down from a clock tower.
------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Mike -- flowers, or a foot massage, or Swiss Cake Rolls will help delay the 'snap'.
You three are great together. I love you all.
ReplyDeleteHugs sweet friend! I can't imagine your thought process right now. Remember you guys prayed about this decision and you had that peace so continue in that peace!
ReplyDelete"Don't be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
Philippians 4:6-7
Oh Melanie. Your feelings are normal. You wouldn't be a loving, caring mother if you didn't feel this way. (Although I teared up at some of your feelings and thoughts, I must admit that I snickered at a few.) You are all learning together and will grow in this together. You will never know unless you try. I agree with Lisa Mae. Following the answer to your prayer is the right thing. Take comfort in that. And ANY night you want a friend to come over and cry and eat swiss cake rolls with you, call me. I'm there. I am praying for you and your fam.
ReplyDeleteI must say I got a little teary-eyed on this one, too. But you guys are going to do great and it'll all work out. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteWhat if I suddenly stopped like chocolate chip cookies?
ReplyDeleteYIKES!
I agree with everyone. You'll all be great! And through prayer you can find peace and comfort. Hold on to that.
ReplyDeleteHi! I found your blog in a google search. I'd love to contact you regarding RSS. My son is also very small and we are going to test for RSS.
ReplyDeleteHi! Feel free to email me at melanieralston at gmail dot com!
Delete